SURROGATES (2009)

Starring: Bruce Willis

Director: Jonathan Mostow

Anybody who likes a solid sci-fi action film probably loves Bruce Willis, and anybody who loves Bruce Willis would probably be willing to give his futuristic thriller Surrogates a chance. But, sadly, this movie doesn't deliver for fans of the genre, for lovers of old Bruno, or for soulless robotic avatars populating society in place of real humans.

That's basically the premise of Surrogates. Human beings no longer walk around in the real world, and instead stay at home hooked into a super-advanced sensory replication program through which they control lifelike robots that leave the house in their place -- the titular "surrogates." People love that their surrogates are stronger, faster, and better-looking than their "meatbag" selves, but there's also a quasi-hippie collective living on a reservation outside of mainstream society whose members don't believe in using surrogates. When the son of the inventor behind the android innovation becomes the victim of a mysterious murder in which not only the surrogate is destroyed, but the boy at home controlling it is killed as well -- all signs point to the anti-robot enclave, and their vaguely Rastafarian charismatic leader, The Prophet (Ving Rhames).

So now FBI agent Greer (Willis) -- who is clearly disillusioned with surrogate society following an obligatory tragedy in his past (a lonely-looking baseball glove lovingly inscribed with "Robbie" in a child's writing tells us just about as much of that backstory as we ever hear, or need to) -- has to investigate the crime, and get to the bottom of a possible conspiracy behind it to end surrogacy altogether. The way that the mystery unfolds, like the rest of the movie, is pretty flimsy and boring.

For a story mounted on a hardcore Asimovian prologue -- detailed, long-form imaginings about the introduction of technology into the human evolutionary play -- everything in Surrogates besides the special-effects budget feels downright chintzy. The script fails to grab you in even a one-liners-and-explosions kind of way, and even Willis can't sell the crappy dialogue well enough to get you on board with anything that happens in the story. It does look pretty cool, but not cool enough to make it interesting -- even for a summer action movie starring a seasoned pro. (89 mins.)

My Rating: *1/2

DEATH WISH (1974)

Starring: Charles Bronson

Director: Michael Winner

Audience manipulation at its zenith; Businessman Bronson's wife and daughter are savagely raped, and his wife dies, turning mild-mannered liberal Bronson into a vigilante on N.Y.C. streets. Chilling but irresistible; a bastardization of the Brian Garfield novel, in which vigilantism as a deterrent to crime is not a solution but another problem. Music by Herbie Hancock. One of the muggers is played by Jeff Goldblum, in his film debut. Followed by four sequels.

This morally-questionable premise blazed the trail for dozens of other films about one-man urban crimebusters. Colorfully presented, but a violent, unpleasant movie. (94 mins.)

My Rating: ***

TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A. (1985)

Starring: William Petersen

Director: William Friedkin

A brutal thriller from the director of The French Connection and The Exorcist. A reckless Secret Service agent stops at nothing in his attempt to nab the counterfeiter who killed his partner. Plenty of violent action and the de rigueur car chase, but it's the convincing depiction of the sleazy L.A. criminal elements that keeps the storyline simmering.

Gritty movie equivalent of TV's Miami Vice makes it hards to root for anyone, since the good guys are as sleazy as the bad guys! Petersen (CSI Las Vegas) plays hotshot agent going after slimy counterfeiter--but for a crack federal agent he acts pretty dumb! One spectacular car chase is not enough to counteract bad taste the film leaves behind. (116 mins.)

My Rating: **1/2